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Wednesday, January 14, 2015

from that first moment

so any of you moms out there, or soon to be moms will be able to relate with this.

Remember all the times you heard, "get sleep in now, as soon as the baby gets here that won't ever happen again."

or how about this one.

"When you have kids your body will never be the same. You'll never put on a bikini again."

or this one...

"you will never feel more pain than when having a baby. It's excruciating, exhausting and you will want to hold in your pee for a week."

lets not talk about the million and one things I was told could go wrong.

well... Thanks guys! You were right about most of that... Thanks for the heads up!

Not..

I was induced with my first guy and went through 14 hours of labor before being taken in for an emergency c section.

yeah moms those hurt a bit too..

but I not here to tell anyone the negatives I was pumped full of before my first go at childbirth. I want to tell you the things that I wasn't told.

like for example, that for that first moment you hold your baby, the pain just goes away..
joy consumes you to the point of actual tears. No in all the movies they are not crying out of pain they are crying out of complete pride, love and adoration. that's something the movies got right!

or how about looking over at daddy passed out in the chair holding his newborn child. And you didn't think you could ever love him more! Leave it to the baby to already start proving you wrong :)

or the first time you change a diaper and inevitably get pee on you. Gross? No hysterical. And your very first blackmail story!

Now lets head home.

first night all on your own and the baby wakes up. You go in and get to pick up this more than perfect piece of you and smell the goodness. What does goodness smell like? My only comparison to the wonderful smell of my very own newborn would be for me the smell of the ocean and strawberries. It's that good haha.

you won't want to be the same person. Because you have this being that you want to be the best and do the best for. And snuggling to watch a movie at 7pm is so much more fun that going out dancing. The company is so much better too!

You get kisses, hugs and mommy I love yous.
gorgeous PRICELESS works of art covering your refrigerator.
the opportunity to watch this being that came from you grow into a kind, generous and loving person.

these aren't things anyone told me.

They also never told me that you honestly forget what the pain felt like. ;)

ignore the fear and the anxiety leading up to the moment you have waited for because I can promise you that it's a waste of time. Because that moment. That first moment that you look into the eyes of a little one that has known you since the moment of their creation... It will not matter... They will be all that matter.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

little whispers

I have the proud position of being a mommy to two incredible sweet boys. They are both equally sweet and unique in their own ways.
Kyden though the last few months has learned the art of compliments. At 3 1/2 he's learned the way into many hearts with his exclamation of beauty.
It warms my heart.
tonight as I was putting my guy to bed I bent down for our nightly kids and he puts his arms around me and softly whispers in my ear
"you are beautiful mommy. You are my beautiful mommy."
it struck me in my heart. I like many women in this world struggle with myself. I nitpick about the things about myself that I'm not a fan of. And lately I've noticed myself doing it even in front of my boys...
I poke at my stretch marks and mutter a blech as I get ready for work never putting into my mind what they stand for.
they stand for the two beautiful treasures I have the privilege of tucking into bed each night. They stand for the two outstanding pieces of art that find me to be the most beautiful.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made and my child reminded me of that. I am proud of every scar and blemish because it gives me a daily reminder that I am mommy. That I was strong enough to become mommy.
and mostly, that my kids love their mommy regardless of any imperfections I may see.
just as I will always love then despite any imperfections of their own.
sometimes its the littlest message from the littlest mouth that gives us the biggest reminders. 😏