Suicide prevention

Today September 10th is an annual day to me that strikes a nerve and i believe deserves strong recognition. Suicide prevention day.

In 2007 after a few years of struggling with depression and having a few unfortunate situations show themselves, I had developed a strong addiction to alcohol. I drank to have fun, I drank to forget, I drank to... well... drink.
It hindered my social life with friends and family, hindered my work life... basically every single aspect of my life was warped and wrapped around my life of depression.

One July day unfortunately my guilt surrounded me. I believed that I was causing pain and conflict with those around me and I needed to make everything easier on them.
That afternoon after a few shots and a handful of pills I had my mother rushing me to the hospital on the phone with my dad. I Thankfully have a dear friend that knew me well enough that he knew something was up.

The next day is the worst when you realize you were wrong. That you weren't helping anyone. You were hurting them.

My best friend in 2009 tragically took his own life. I remember being angry at him and at everything around. It took years to talk about him in a non emotional way. I remember worrying about what domino effect his death would cause. But one of the strongest memories was my 13 year old brother looking at me after the funeral and saying "promise you won't ever try to do it again."

I wish all the time myself or someone else could have seen the signs. I wish all the time that just one word would have shot through my head as a warning. That he could have been stopped the way I was.

But today is a reminder to all that mental illness no matter what it's form exists. And that suicide can in fact be prevented. Those around you do care about you whether at the moment you feel it or not.

Help is always available. Seek it out please. Nobody has to feel alone.