Dreams and tea

I didnt get to pick up my youngest, Parker fron school today and he apparently missed me because he's been all about the snuggles.

So as I'm sitting holding him my lazy butt 3 year old kyden is on the couch and wants his tea off the table that is only two feet in front of him.

This is our conversation...

"Mommy will you get me my tea?"

"No im holding your brother. You are perfectly capable of getting up and getting it."

"No mommy its stuck you have to help me"

"No kyden it isnt."

He then stands up puts his hands around his cup and starts grunting but doesnt pick it up and turn and sits back down.

"See mommy I told you its stuck."

*face palm*

Funny story yes. But it makes me think that my little bear is showing me to a more dramatic length what a lot of people in the world do.  I'm often like this myself.  Something we want is right at our fingertips there for us to just grab a hold of and take and we often give up to soon or like my son... Are just too lazy...

Unfortunately many of never stretch ourselves to our fullest potential when we are lazy and give up all the time.

What would have happened if some of the most influential people of all time gave up or got lazy?

Where would we be if Martin Luther King Jr. gave up because his dream was a difficult one.

Or what if Elvis Presley had given up when his music was called rebellious noise?

We wouldn't be where we are today without the dreams of many people.

What if every important discovery wasnt discovered because of laziness or giving up.

Every dream is worth something.

Even a cup of tea ;)

Perfectly Imperfect

I watched a video tonight that brought tears to my eyes. It was an excerpt from an abc what would you do.

It showed a man with downs syndrome that was bagging groceries and they had hired people to make idiots out of him and call him retarded. The show, showed people that agreed with what they were saying, that ignored it and that fought back for him.

Having a brother with cerebral palsy this hit me harder than it probably does alot of people. Unless you have a family member that has had horrible things said to or about them this word doesnt mean anything but "your stupid" mostly used in a joking manner.

I have unfortunately heard the word retard far more than I would like.  I was 8 years old when I came inside with a busted lip for getting in a fight with someone for calling my baby brother retarded. 

And you know what?  He's the kindest, most compassionate, loving, accepting and intelligent individual I know. 

I have said many times in my life that my  little brother is my smile. Because the fact is, he has heard things said to him and about him more than an average person. Yet he still sees the good in everyone. He has had people treat him poorly and not make an honest effort to understand what he has to say and still chooses to find joy when they are around.

"uh huh? Oh yeah! Really?" I have heard this group of words so many times as I've watched people with my brother that havent for two seconds even tried to understand what hes saying. Its infuriating,  and dont think I haven't confronted a few about it. Even in my rebellious teenage years you didnt mess with my baby brother and I had more umph to say screw you to people. :)

And like I said hes intelligent.  Just because my brothers muscles dont work the way a "normal" persons do doesnt mean his brain doesn't.

But even tho my brother is so amazing,  he still feels the pain of cruel words said towards him.

There are slang terms for everyone in this world. For African Americans, Caucasians, Native Americans, Middle Eastern, homosexuals, disabled... the list goes on right?

Everyone has at least one on that list that they fight for, to not have degraded or put down. That you stand up for and say that that slang term is wrong.

Anyone that knows me knows that I highly hate the terms used for these. And yes retarded hits a little closer to home for me but please think of a time you were called something that truly hurt you and remember that most likely when your disabled you have been called it far more than the average person because unfortunately its seemingly not accepted by any culture.

And exactly like anyone in this world that have cruel negative things said to or about them... they are just the same...

Perfectly imperfect....

59 cents

5 years ago I had only been in tulsa Oklahoma a short time and I honestly had come from a city that had been sheltered.  I wasn't used to a city full of corner beggars and cardboard signs.

I had lived here as a child and for my 8th birthday when asked by my parents what I had wanted i had one reply.

To feed the homeless.

So there I was 8 years old in a run down John 3:16 with young and old men filling their plates. Some cried, some thanked me and some stayed silent. Near the end, one of the men found out it was my birthday and spread it along that it had been my birthday wish to be there with them. I got something in return. A room full of men stood and began singing happy birthday to me.

One man in particular came up to me and my parents after all dirty and grubby... held out his hand and gave me a gift. A WWJD bracelet. He told me I had at a young age showed him the true way that was to be taken. It was dirty and worn but that birthday gift was one I held onto my whole life until it got lost in the move back when I was 20 years old.

I stood back in this city 2009 I had gotten a job at a local convenience store in a not so great part of town. Half of our customers were guys standing right outside begging and then coming in with their change to purchase a pack of smokes or a beer. But there was this one man...

He was probably in his 70's maybe a little younger and life had taken its toll and when the weather got cold he would come in and ask how much it would be to refill his little torn up Styrofoam cup with some hot coffee.

".59 cents sir"

He'd scrounge for the change slowly slide it across the counter and look bashful as he said...

"Thank you sweet girl."

Over time he began to come in  more frequently. His nose and cheeks chapped and his gloves with holes. Just to pay his .59 for that Styrofoam cup. 

One day I saw him walking towards the store and I ran back got a large cup and filled it. When he walked in I stopped him and handed it to him and told him if anytime he came in and I was working to go back and fill it... it was on me.

Tears filled his eyes as he muttered quietly the same phrase.

"Thank you sweet girl."

A few months later he came in and dropped a 5 dollar bill on the counter and told me he knew it wasnt much but that he'd been given some small jobs and he wanted to pay me back for my kindness. Of course I asked him to keep it and allow me to be just that. Kind.

Unfortunately a few weeks after that he walked in with an oxygen tube in his nose as he walked up to the counter to see me. He wasnt there for coffee.  I took a break.

He informed me that he'd been found on a bench passed out and an ambulance had been called and that he had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer... the man hadn't smoked a day in his life...

He asked me to quit smoking and I assured him I would try and his eyes filled with tears again.

Apparently he had no family, no real friends and he wanted to make sure that I knew have much he appreciated the fact I never treated him with disgust...

"Thank you so much sweet girl"

I never saw him again...

But today as it rained and was very cool I pulled up to a corner and I did my best to ignore the cardboard sign to my left, but he popped into my mind.. i reached into the middle of my car to my change and pulled out all I had... .59

I had to write this as im forcing down joyful tears. I know that .59 might not mean much for this man but I know how much it meant to a man I once knew.. and it couldn't have been a better reminder...