This morning I woke up like I do every morning. It was just another day. The most depressing part was that my husbands vacation was over and he was back to work. Not going to lie I was pouting. So little did I know this was going to be a very small tear in the pool of today...
A woman that I admire and look up to for many years, who helped me through very trying times in my life, who has always been there to lend a reassuring word even almost 600 miles away...
no longer is..
Her life was cut short do to a car accident... yes an accident... then why am I so angry?..
Im angry because at this moment knowing that one of the best people I have ever known who has a husband that would move heaven and earth for her and a house FULL of children that need her... love her... all I can think is the selfish judgmental thoughts..
WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN SOMEBODY ELSE!!!! WHY couldn't it have been one of those people that are horrible people?!
This may be cruel and terribly un Christian like but at this moment in my pain... I honestly can't care... please God forgive me later...
How can our world survive when someone that is so life changing, wonderful, giving, compassionate and loving isn't around?
Shes not just one person. She was one person that touched more lives than I could ever dream of touching. She shared truths. Listened to fears. Encouraged dreams. Instilled patience.
She loved unconditionally. You could be in the same room as her and her husband and feel yes FEEL the love pouring from them for each other...
How can that just go away...
I don't understand. .. I am honestly not sure I ever will... I'm mad... I'm struggling see the larger purpose... in my eyes her purpose was to be here. To be a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend...
I cant remember if I ever thanked you. For everything or even anything... I regret if I didn't.
Thank you. Thank you for helping to shape me into the woman I am today. Thank you for always believing I could be better. Thank you for showing me that life is meant to be shared and full of love and that being angry and lonely is just that... angry and lonely... I miss you, your family miss you... friends miss you... the world will miss you...
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ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful, Emily. I know Jenny would have approved...she loved you too! This you should know and always remember. And she never wanted, nor needed a thank you; however, she knew you did.
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