59 cents

5 years ago I had only been in tulsa Oklahoma a short time and I honestly had come from a city that had been sheltered.  I wasn't used to a city full of corner beggars and cardboard signs.

I had lived here as a child and for my 8th birthday when asked by my parents what I had wanted i had one reply.

To feed the homeless.

So there I was 8 years old in a run down John 3:16 with young and old men filling their plates. Some cried, some thanked me and some stayed silent. Near the end, one of the men found out it was my birthday and spread it along that it had been my birthday wish to be there with them. I got something in return. A room full of men stood and began singing happy birthday to me.

One man in particular came up to me and my parents after all dirty and grubby... held out his hand and gave me a gift. A WWJD bracelet. He told me I had at a young age showed him the true way that was to be taken. It was dirty and worn but that birthday gift was one I held onto my whole life until it got lost in the move back when I was 20 years old.

I stood back in this city 2009 I had gotten a job at a local convenience store in a not so great part of town. Half of our customers were guys standing right outside begging and then coming in with their change to purchase a pack of smokes or a beer. But there was this one man...

He was probably in his 70's maybe a little younger and life had taken its toll and when the weather got cold he would come in and ask how much it would be to refill his little torn up Styrofoam cup with some hot coffee.

".59 cents sir"

He'd scrounge for the change slowly slide it across the counter and look bashful as he said...

"Thank you sweet girl."

Over time he began to come in  more frequently. His nose and cheeks chapped and his gloves with holes. Just to pay his .59 for that Styrofoam cup. 

One day I saw him walking towards the store and I ran back got a large cup and filled it. When he walked in I stopped him and handed it to him and told him if anytime he came in and I was working to go back and fill it... it was on me.

Tears filled his eyes as he muttered quietly the same phrase.

"Thank you sweet girl."

A few months later he came in and dropped a 5 dollar bill on the counter and told me he knew it wasnt much but that he'd been given some small jobs and he wanted to pay me back for my kindness. Of course I asked him to keep it and allow me to be just that. Kind.

Unfortunately a few weeks after that he walked in with an oxygen tube in his nose as he walked up to the counter to see me. He wasnt there for coffee.  I took a break.

He informed me that he'd been found on a bench passed out and an ambulance had been called and that he had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer... the man hadn't smoked a day in his life...

He asked me to quit smoking and I assured him I would try and his eyes filled with tears again.

Apparently he had no family, no real friends and he wanted to make sure that I knew have much he appreciated the fact I never treated him with disgust...

"Thank you so much sweet girl"

I never saw him again...

But today as it rained and was very cool I pulled up to a corner and I did my best to ignore the cardboard sign to my left, but he popped into my mind.. i reached into the middle of my car to my change and pulled out all I had... .59

I had to write this as im forcing down joyful tears. I know that .59 might not mean much for this man but I know how much it meant to a man I once knew.. and it couldn't have been a better reminder...